"I chose the path less traveled, but only because I was lost. Carry a map."

"Don't take life too seriously. After all, none of us are getting out alive anyway."

"A glass of wine is always the solution. Even if you aren't sure of the problem."

"Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, someone will hand you a shovel."

"The easy road is always under construction, so have an alternate route planned."

"Men are like parking lots. All the good ones are taken and those that aren't are inaccessible."

"Learn from others' mistakes. You don't have enough time to make them all yourself."

"Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late."

"Men are like roses. You have to watch out for the pricks."